


My Ride or Die

by Exytrash



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic, Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe- Pacific Rim, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Drinking, Drugs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, Smoking, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-08-15 02:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8038141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exytrash/pseuds/Exytrash
Summary: Aaron and Andrew Minyard are two of the most well-known Jaeger pilots within the PPDC. Growing up under their Master's wings alongside Kevin Day and Riko Moriyama had ensured them that they would rise above all the others. But an act of betrayal and the twin's near-magnetic pull towards trauma causes unseen consequences.They're forced to resign and turn away from the spotlight, instead seeking a normal life-- or as normal as they can find-- inside a Jaeger program training facility.But there's a new kid in town. He's cocky, a smart-ass, and has a major death wish. But there's a certain fire in his eyes that makes it hard to look away. Haven't you heard, kid? The world is ending. Start acting like it.





	My Ride or Die

**Author's Note:**

> So I pretty much scrapped the original idea for this fic after seeing an amazing post on my dash. I kinda took the idea and ran with it, so now I have a whole new plan for this story and how it will progress and I am really excited.
> 
> TLDR to the entire summary/first chapter: Aaron, Andrew, Riko, and Kevin are under the Master's wing in the Tokyo Shatterdome, working/training as Jaeger pilots. They've been there for five years and are four of the most well-known rangers in the PPCD.  
> (Raven!Aaron and Raven!Andrew pretty much if I'm being honest.)
> 
> ** The first chapter is from Aaron's POV, and it will be split up into four different parts (Chapter 1a, 1b, 1c, 1d). But after that, the rest of the fic will be from Neil and Andrew's perspective. A bit confusing, I know. But every other time I tried to write it a different way, it completely backfired. **
> 
> A lot of unpleasant things will happen in his fic, but a large majority of them will have happened in the past and will only be referenced or seen again in the Drifting process.  
> Of course, I'll be posting warnings before every chapter just to let you guys know what's up.
> 
> ** For this chapter, it's a little on the heavier side, and it includes:  
> Brief feelings of panic/general uneasiness, a brief mention of past abuse, some Kaiju x Jaeger violence, and a character 'death.' **  
> (He comes back, I swear. He's okay.)
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. If you don't understand something or see a typo then please let me know and I'll try to sort it out! There's a lot of funky terminology that I gathered from the movies/comics/wiki/script, etc.. 
> 
> The credit goes to the original writers of both series.

              

                "It starts with bloodshed. Always bloodshed. Always the same _running from something larger than yourself_ story."

-Siken

Aaron Minyard can still hear the emergency sirens rebounding off the insides of his skull as he sprints alongside his brother Andrew. He knows that sound better than the strong, persistent drum of his own heartbeat. He knows how to react (and how to turn off every emotion he feels other than _live_ ) better than he knows how to breathe. And the atmosphere that accompanies that siren—that shrill urgency; that heart-stopping dread; that ever-present rush to _go, go, go_ and _save the goddamn world_ — seems to be the only thing that makes it worthwhile to wake up and _keep on living_.

But they’re late. The defense team miscalculated the timing of the attack of the Kaiju and they’re fucking **late**. The warning siren is ten minutes off its mark from when it was supposed to sound, but to everybody in the Shatterdome, it feels like they might as well be counting bodies instead of minutes. Aaron doesn’t speak his thoughts out loud, but he is positive that whoever was responsible for the ill timing of the alarm is fighting hard to keep their intestines from dropping to the floor by now: a consequence that Aaron had learned to grow used to while living in the Tokyo Shatterdome. Violence here—especially as a form of punishment for carelessness—was second nature, and to only be expected. You could either turn a blind eye or let it eat you alive. Aaron chose the former a _long_ time ago.

However, these next moments were so precious to the cities they’re supposed to be protecting that one wrong misstep will have not one or two people paying, but thousands. And no matter how hard he wanted to, Aaron couldn't allow himself to feign ignorance today. He had to accept reality and suck it up if he wanted to make it through this. This was as close to toying with human lives as one could get without actually earning the title genocidaire. One foot out of place; one toe out of line. All of it just added to the body count.

Aaron Minyard feels sick. Aaron Minyard isn’t ready to die today.

Anxiety bubbles up in his chest as he runs to his Jaeger, Chernobyl Red—the red and black Mark I monster that he had spent the past four and a half years fighting in. He tries to grab onto his sense of panic and bury it deep within himself. He needs to get a grip if he wants to fight. He needs to get a fucking hold of himself if he doesn’t want more people to die. His Master’s voice in his head was screaming reprimands at him almost louder than the voice booming over the loudspeaker directing everyone on where to go, but not even that was enough to make him snap out of this funk.

“Rangers report to their Jaegers in Conn-Pod,” The voice bellowed. “ LOCCENT Mission Control and Controller on deck. Technicians and Operators on deck. J-Tech on deck.” The same messages relays in Japanese before repeating again in English.

He does everything in his power to swallow his unease down, thinking of anything and everything to get his mind where it needs to be. He thinks of the drills that have been engraved into his memory. He thinks of the tests and the simulations that he’s aced. He thinks of the controls and how he knows to work them even in his sleep. And when none of that eases his nerves, he switches his mindset. He thinks of his brother and partner in crime, Andrew. He thinks of Kevin and Riko and how the four of them made their makeshift family in the Shatterdome. He thinks of how they’ve fought together before, and that this time wouldn't be any different.

But nothing is able to calm the storm raging inside of Aaron’s mind, and with each step his foot takes, his mind starts to get further and further away from him. By the time he and Andrew are in Mission Control, he feels like he’s one strong wind from being knocked over. The twins catch the eye of their Master and Tokyo’s Shatterdome Head Chief, Tetsuji Moriyama, and walk over, feet unsteady. A black and red sea of staff swarm around them as they cross over to Conn-Pod and reach their boss. They obediently bow their heads in respect before standing up straight again.

Tetsuji wastes no time with giving them the details of the attack, his voice as emotionless as ever. Aaron wasn’t sure if he was comforted by his lack of nerves or completely scared shitless by them. “Category Two Kaiju,” The Master spoke quickly, glancing between the two blonds. “We’re cutting it close with it being eight miles off the coastal line. Riko and Kevin are being deployed as we speak, but they’re only to act as backup if it is _absolutely necessary_. You are our front line of defense this time. You are _not_ to let me down. Do you understand, Minyard?”

“Yes, sir,” The brothers say in unison. They had been the front line only one other time: two few weeks ago with another Category Two. It had been a test in Tetsuji’s eyes, and failure was not an option for Aaron and Andrew. They eliminated the Kaiju in record time and gave Tokyo another day to live, but since then, the other leading rangers for Tokyo-- Kevin Day and Riko Moriyama-- had been the first line of defense, just as they had been for the past five years. Andrew and Aaron weren’t sure why Tetsuji decided to switch up the tactics now of all times with them dangerously behind schedule, but defying or questioning their Master’s word was unforgivable. They were to obey and submit willingly unless they were looking forward to a broken limb in their near future.

Tetsuji nodded once. “Suit up. We don’t have much time.” He moves out of the way and allows the staff to start attaching the brothers’ gear.

A nervous hush falls over the Conn-Pod as the employees get to work with setting up the drivesuits. Andrew cranes his head to look over at Aaron, but he could tell by the expression on his face that he was a thousand miles away from all of this. The warning had been too unexpected, too late, for any of them to be handling this well. But he needed his brother to be in his right mind if they wanted to get out of this alive.

He tells Aaron to snap out of it as their spinal clamp attaches; insists that they still have time as they shove their helmets on with trembling fingers. When the Pons powers up a few minutes later, he has Aaron slowly coming back to him, half-convinced that they’ll both get to see the sun rise in a couple of hours.

But it isn’t enough. The Kaiju is eight miles away from the shoreline and it isn’t enough. They were supposed to be out there ages ago. They were supposed to be adding another confirmed kill to their list by now. They were--

“Hey. Look at me.”

Aaron looks over to his twin, his brother, and some part of his brain goes just a little bit quieter.

“We’re okay,” Andrew says, voice wavering slightly. Aaron can’t tell who he’s trying to convince. “Just like all the other dances we’ve done. Kev is already out there waiting for us as backup. And when we kill this son of a bitch, we can all come back and have a long drink together in the mess hall.”

Aaron nods shakily, trying to get his breathing back under his control as they step into the head of their Jaeger. Andrew’s right about one thing: This isn’t their first dance—far from it. In the past five years, the twins have managed to confirm over eight Kaiju assisted kills and one solo kill. The numbers III and IV on their faces proved that they had what it took to be a part of Tetsuji’s team. And their assigned Sister Jaeger for this mission—a near exact replica of their Mark I Chernobyl named The Raven, had over fourteen confirmed kills in total—has two of the best Jaeger pilots money can buy: Kevin Day and Riko Moriyama, the hailed sons of the Jaeger Program; The I and II to their III and IV. The four of them have been fighting with each other for years. So no, this wasn’t their first dance together. This is just shit timing. And they were going to be fine as long as they got out there soon and joined their partners.

“Okay,” Aaron says. “Okay, yeah. Yeah.” He takes in a sharp inhale as soon as he can convince his lungs to take in a solid breath. They step onto their respective platforms and stand still as more people from their staff finishes suiting them up. Once they drilled the last pieces onto the backs of the twins, they leave and slam the door behind them.

“You ready to fuck shit up?” Aaron asks around a nervous laugh.

A monotone voice informs them that their suits were synced and their neural handshake was starting to commence.

Andrew scoffs and faces forward, a wicked grin eating up most of his face. “Just shut up and drift.”

Aaron takes one more long glance at his brother before looking straight, closing his eyes, and letting his mind go blank as the BTB activates.

The drift was silence: A joint vision between two pilots linked via the Pons. Triggered by subconscious stimuli and entirely involuntary, it melded two minds into one and connected everything to the metal monster they were standing in. Everything was shared during this process from here on out: Thoughts, memories, impulses. None of it was private when it came to the Pons.

Aaron watches halfheartedly as the shared memories between him and Andrew come and pass, fast-forwarding like one of their old home movies. He refuses to allow himself to think, to feel, to do anything but let the drift happen. He’s perfected this dance, too.

All their trauma, all their heartbreak, all the memories of two broken boys who don’t know how to give up. He lets it all rise up and die down again, coming just into reach before swimming away again. They’ve seen these memories a thousand times before; they just had to resist grabbing for them.

It was hard at first. On their first drift, Andrew latched onto the memory of Aaron’s mother raising a hand to her son for the first time. It was worse than the flashbacks and the nightmares of the event—this was reliving the memory to a T for both of the brothers, and it threw them for a loop that they would never forget. They were thankful that it was only a simulation-- Aaron’s panic attack would have caused causalities on the field, and Andrew’s disassociation from the sudden onset of stress wouldn’t have helped anyone, either. It took a generous pay rise and some hard liquor to coax Andrew and Aaron back into the simulator, but by then, they had accepted that this was their life now and they could either accept it or leave it behind.

Their past. Their dreams. The things they hold most dear and the things that they fear the most. All of it is shared while they were in the headspace. There’s no room for modesty or shame. Two people becoming one, linked together through their Jaeger and engaged in a neural bridge. They learned that as long as they detached from all their trauma, the BTB would end up fine.

Over the years, they got better at the handshake. Then they trained harder and got great. Then they were connecting so often that they had perfected the art of ghost drifting—a nasty side effect that was said to be a quasi-telepathic vision shared between two pilots with a strong pre-existing Pons connection. They were, in all senses, the perfect Jaeger pilots. Two of the finest students of the Tokyo Shatterdome.

But somewhere through this particular drift, Aaron gets caught up. He doesn’t mean to latch on and he certainly doesn’t meant to focus on the memory as hard as he does. It’s not like him to trip over the past, but he sees a glimpse of something new and can’t force himself to look away. It’s a foolish mistake, he knows, one that will surely have a punishment attached to it later. But once a pilot locks onto an impulse, it’s nearly impossible to let it go. So Aaron decides to ride it out and sees what happens.

It’s not one of his memories—It’s Andrew’s.  And it’s fresh and raw in both of their minds as it passes before their eyes.

Aaron sees Riko’s face from his brother’s perspective, smiling down with vicious glee. Riko says something, but the noise is distorted, like he’s hearing it while having his head underwater. But Aaron can feel fear. It’s such a strong feeling that it soon starts to consume his entire body, the exact same way that it consumed Andrew when this memory took place. He catches a glint of something metallic before it flashes away and he’s thrown back into reality. The handshake is done. Andrew had cut it off prematurely.

Aaron starts, a sweat trickling down the back of his neck as he blinks owlishly. “Andrew,” He gasps.

“ _Right hemisphere calibrating_ ,” Chernobyl announces.

His twin clears his throat roughly and coughs out a haggard, “Don’t.”

“ _Left hemisphere calibrating.”_

“You ended it,” Aaron cries. “You ended it before we were ready. What the fuck—“

 _"Ready to activate the Jaeger_.”

“You chased it,” Andrew accuses, confirming their link with Headquarters on his screen, violence behind his swift movements.  “Right now, I don’t need you chasing things that aren’t Kaijus. We’re linked. We should have the okay from the Master. We’re fine. Just fucking go. No,” He continues when Aaron tries to protest. “We are done. Now walk. We’re engaging.”

“ _Pilot to Jaeger connection complete.”_

“Andrew, Aaron,” The Master speaks through the speaker inside the Jaeger. “You are to hold the Miracle Mile off Tokyo. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir,” The twins repeat. They get a few more confirmations from Mission Control and then start off. Tension high in both of their shoulders, Aaron and Andrew try to continue on as normal as their Jaeger starts to move. But the motions aren’t adding up right between the twins. The calibration between Aaron’s side and Andrew’s side isn’t as strong as it should have been. Their thoughts are getting confused and there’s a hazy ringing in both of their ears that wasn’t there before. They’re three miles past the shore point when Aaron realizes that this isn’t going to work.

“Don’t think like that.”

Aaron glances over at his brother through his peripheral. The stronger emotions are still registering through their bridge that they share, even if they’re weaker than what they should have been.

 _It’s not enough_.

“We didn’t sync right, Andrew,” Aaron argues back. “We can’t fight like this.”

“Bull-fucking-shit. We can always fight. We’re Minyards.”

“Last time we chased it—“

“ _This isn’t that time_. This is now. We’re already halfway to the Miracle Mile, and we have Riko and Kevin backing us out there.” Andrew pulls forward to tap at the screen in front of him. He presses a few more buttons, stops, repeats the motion again with more force, and stops again. He stills completely, something awful rising in him.

Aaron can feel the exact moment Andrew’s heart stops.  “What?” He demands, though he fears that he already knows the answer. “What’s wrong?”

Andrew hesitates. “They’re—“

“Gone,” Aaron finishes when his twin trails off. “No, that’s not right. Check again.”

“I _did_ check again, Aaron,” Andrew snaps, pressing furiously on his side of the screen. He snarls out a string of curses and shoves his monitor away from him. Dread slowly creeping over his skin, Andrew hisses out a harsh, “The Raven is gone. She’s down. There's no signal from her.”

Aaron shakes his head, refusing to believe it. “That’s impossible. She was deployed sixteen minutes ago. She couldn’t have—“

A guttural cry snakes its way into the Jaeger’s interior. It’s far away, but still manages to rattle the insides of the metallic cage they were trapped in. Then everything stills, and they’re encased in silence once more. Chernobyl only had her usual lethargic beeping to comfort them, and no word from the Master comes in to confirm or deny their suspicions. The twins hold their breath until they hear it again: The same monstrous bellowing; a hunter claiming its prey.

“Where’s Mission Control?” Aaron questions, voice barely above a whisper. When Andrew doesn’t answer, Aaron reaches forward for his own screen and taps out a sequence that would normally radio them in to the Shatterdome. But instead of hearing their Master’s voice telling them what to do, he’s met with static that doesn’t settle right in his stomach.

“No. No, no, _no_. The connection—Fuck.”

“ _Pilot out of alignment_ ,” Chernobyl warns.

Andrew curses. It was normal for them to get little to no word from HQ while they were still deploying. The Master watched over everything back in the safety of the Shatterdome, only speaking up when he felt it was needed. But they should have gotten word that Kevin and Riko were down. They should have gotten instructions on what to do by now. 

All the Minyards had was the piercing static. They were on their own and they didn't even see it coming. If they didn’t act, they would just become another meal.

Andrew emits another string of foul words. “Aaron, we have to keep going. You’re starting to stabilize.”

“It’s _gone_. They’re fucking _gone_ , Andrew.”

“ _Pilot out of alignment_ ,” Their Jaeger beeps again.

“Mourn later,” Andrew says, sounding almost frantic. “I need you to get back into phase and help me bag another kill.”

“The entire system is down. I can’t even call in—and I can’t see the Kaiju heat signature either. _Why isn’t there a fucking heat signature_?”

“ _Aaron_!”

Aaron pries his eyes away from his screen to lock eyes with his brother. He thinks he sees panic, but it’s a fleeting thing in Andrew’s eyes. Instead, something dark washes over his features, and Aaron is left feeling hallow.

“We have to keep fighting,” Andrew spits out. “We’re Minyards.”

“ _Pilot stabilizing_.”

“That’s what we do, right?” Andrew continues. “We fight.”

“Andrew,” Aaron says, voice desperate. “We—“

There’s an awful crash as something plows into Andrew’s side of the Jaeger, sending them toppling into the sea water below. The intensity of the blow throws both of the twins around in their gear, and several alarms start to go off around them as they try to register what happened.

Andrew groans, glancing over at his brother, “Aaron. Fuck. Get up. Get up _now_. It’s here.”

They manage to get their Jaeger up on one knee, but just as they make the move to get to two feet, there’s another crash, and they’re thrown sideways again. Aaron holds out his right hand to catch them, but he can feel the amount of pressure straining on the metal beast.

“Shit!” Aaron screams. “What the fuck?”

The same animalistic howls from before pierces their eardrums. The brothers both fight back a wince as they stand, raising their arms in their usual fighting stance.

“Where is it? I can’t see—“

For the third time, something threatens to topple them as they’re hit. But instead of falling, they’re just jostled sideways. They take several steps to regain their balance, the rapid beeping from inside picking up speed as warnings start posting around them.

“What’s happening?” Aaron asks. “We’re fucking blind out here without the Master or any signatures.”

The other twin glances at his screen and answers, “It’s got hold of my side. I can’t move my arm with it latching onto me like this. Hurry the fuck up and activate your cannon.”

Aaron is already ahead of Andrew, holding out his right arm and aiming to where he believes the Kaiju should be holding onto Andrew’s side.

“I can’t tell—“

“Just shoot the fucking gun,” Andrew hisses.

“Plasma cannon activating,” Aaron yells back.

The hand cannon only takes a few moments to charge, but those few moments were enough for the Kaiju to start doing some damage to the exterior of the Jaeger. The warnings around them say that the monster was just starting to dig into the heart as the cannon starts to fire.

“ _Plasma cannon engaged_.”

“Empty the clip!” Aaron yells.

The cannon blasts ten times, pumping out enough firearms to take down an entire army and then some. But without a heat signature and without their Master’s instructions, Aaron can’t tell if he hit his mark or not. The only way they can tell is by the silence that follows the fire.

Chernobyl Red goes still, and all they’re left with is the frantic beeping that informs the brothers that their Jaeger has some damage to the left-hand side. Outside, the waters are still. Aaron and Andrew turn their heads to and fro, looking for the corpse of the Kaiju, but see nothing.

“Well?” Andrew asks over the alarms. “Did you get it?”

Aaron nods, taking in a giant breath of air. “Do you see a Kaiju anywhere? Yes, I fucking got it. Can you move your arm?”

Andrew mumbles something but lifts the arm he controls and they watch together as the Jaeger answers and raises her arm in response. “It’s fine.”

The monster was gone. Their Jaeger was okay. They would make it back.

Aaron huffs out a laugh, but the realization of their downed partner hits him again like a train. His smile slips from his face. “Kevin,” He starts. “Riko. Where are they? Where’s The Raven?”

“We haven’t gotten word of them since we landed,” Andrew shakes his head. “We have no signature from them, but we didn’t have a signature from a Kaiju, either. They were only backup in this mission, so they’re probably heading back to the Shatterdome.”

Aaron’s breath shutters.

“We’re going,” Andrew announces.

Together, they walk their Jaeger back to shore. Andrew can tell that Aaron was searching for The Raven on the way back—maybe chunks of the blue metal were floating in the ocean, or perhaps the entire beast was lying on its side somewhere, or the corpses of their partners could be seen —but he finds nothing. Andrew doesn’t bring it up. They just keep moving, hoping that they'll find Kevin and Riko unharmed inside the Shatterdome.

But they’re one mile away from the beach when they fall again. They can both see the lit-up city of Tokyo as they plummet back into the water, a result of being hit when they least expected it. They can see their Master’s helicopters soaring miles away overhead as the Kaiju begins to rip into them once more.

It wasn’t dead. Neither of the twins says it, but they both know. Aaron missed his mark in his moment of panic. At most, he probably only managed to graze the beast and scare it off. Now, it was beyond pissed off and only doing what it was made to do: killing off its prey.

“Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ,” Aaron cries. “Hit it! Fucking hit it!”

Andrew hits the Kaiju once, twice, three times, and together the twins scamper away from the beast. They kick their leg when they’re grabbed again and manage to get back on their feet seconds before the monster begins to tear into the already weakened side of the Jaeger.

Andrew screams something to Aaron, but his brother doesn’t hear what he said over the sound of metal being ripped from Chernobyl. The only thing he can focus on is the gaping hole in the Jaeger’s head caused by claws and razor sharp teeth, flashes of its dark skin showing through the holes.

But he feels something awful—like a part of him had been torn away and tossed aside. Aaron blinks past the pain and snaps his gaze back to Andrew to find him struggling out of his gear and starting to disconnect.

“No, _no, don’t disengage_ ,” Aaron says incredulously. “What the hell are you doing?”

Andrew grunts as he finally frees himself from his side of the Jaeger and hesitates for only a moment before he runs towards the back and rifles through the debris.

“Andrew!” Aaron  howls, trying to ignore the sound of the Kaiju biting through more of the command center. He watches, terror-stricken, as Andrew unearths an emergency supply box and digs out a flare gun. Andrew stands and slams a button near him, opening the top hatch of Chernobyl’s head.

“Please,” Aaron begs, frightened and desolate. “ _Andrew_.”

Andrew looks to his brother immediately, a fever in his eyes that Aaron had never seen before. He says, “Get home safe,” and takes his gun and climbs his way to the top of the Jaeger where he disappears through the hatch before slamming the door shut behind him.

“Andrew! Andrew!” White hot fury passes through Aaron one second, awful trepidation the next. He waits with baited breath to listen outside. He could hear the Kaiju still tearing apart the Jaeger, but it only lasted a few more seconds but it went quiet. His stomach bottomed out when the monster gave one last howl.

Aaron felt like his own scream was going to tear out of him, but he couldn’t find the energy to open his mouth. He knew what Andrew’s leaving meant. He knew what this situation meant. He just couldn’t believe it.

All too soon, the Jeager started to groan. Without a second pilot, Chernobyl was nothing short of a shell. One pilot alone couldn’t man an entire metal beast—the neural load proved to be too much on a singulars human body. Aaron was going to die out here. Alone.

He chokes back an awful cry and squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t want to think about that. It takes every ounce of energy he has left to shove down every feeling deep, deep within himself. He blinks away his tears and clears away the roughness in his throat.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers, before doing the impossible and forcing his Jaeger to take its first step toward the Japanese shoreline.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shiieeet.  
> That took fucking forever to finish. Anyway thank you so much for reading! This was such a blast to write and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
> 
> Writing for Aaron was really fun! Which is mainly the reason he's getting three more parts to this chapter. (I'm a hot mess thinking about him and his character development. I'm so weak.) Jean also gets a small part in this fic next chapter! Eeeeeeee I'm excited.
> 
> Anyway, pff, thank you again for reading!


End file.
